


How to Flirt: Embarrassed Boy Edition

by worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan hates his job, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Humor, Ice Cream, Ice Cream Parlors, M/M, Singing, Strangers to Lovers, cold stone creamery, phil is a shithead, save dan 2k17, tip song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 20:52:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11425986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeletonflowers/pseuds/worriedpeach
Summary: As soon as the first ever Cold Stone Creamery opens up in London, Phil knew he had to go. However, it wasn’t the ice cream that made him keep coming back, but rather the cute employee who looks dead in the eyes whenever he has to sing the tip jar songs.





	How to Flirt: Embarrassed Boy Edition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [auroraphilealis (thousandrosepetals)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thousandrosepetals/gifts).



> thanks so much to greynihilism for prompting me this!!! I honestly love this SO MUCH. And of course thanks to snowbunnylester for listening to me shout and for telling me to match our titles bc we are disgusting soulmates. I didn't edit this but i'm too excited about it so idgaf! Hope you like it!

When a new Cold Stone Creamery opened up in London, it was the biggest thing since sliced bread. Literally everyone had to try some, to get some for themselves, that way they could boast to their friends and family how they got to try it. 

Phil was guilty of this. He was a slut for only two things, and those were ice cream and new shops. So when he heard a new ice cream shop was opening up? Phil pretty much shit himself. He gathered all of his friends, sat them down, and explained the situation to them. He didn’t want to say he forced them to come with him, because he didn’t. He just calmly insisted that they come with him and didn’t let them leave the room until they agreed. No biggie. 

That’s how he found himself inside of Cold Stone with Kiley, Charles, and Michael. Phil was the only one who was so excited that he couldn’t stop bouncing on the balls of his feet. His friends were chattering beside him, waiting patiently for the line to go down so they could finally order, but Phil was having trouble being patient. He wanted his ice cream and he wanted it now. There were still five people in front of him and he wanted to push them all out of the way so he could order his own ice cream and press his face to the counter glass like an annoying child. 

Just as he was about to do that, something strange happened. Something that made Phil stop and stare at the workers with his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth gaped open. He’d heard of it happening before, back when Cold Stone was just an American thing, but it had completely escaped his mind. Until now. 

It happened very systematically. A customer put a pound in the tip jar. The cashier, a pretty gal with blonde hair, yelled out “tip!”. And then, embarrassingly enough, they began to sing.

It was to the same tune of ‘I Kissed a Girl’ by Katy Perry, but a much more cringe version of it. Phil was mildly horrified and by the sound of it, his friends were trying to muffle their laughter into their hands. There were only four workers in the store and Phil found himself tracing his eyes over their expressions, wondering how they could possibly be so cheerful while singing something so horrifying. 

“I mixed it in and I liked it;  
The taste of that Cold Stone ice cream.  
I mixed it in just to try it;  
I hope my boyfriend will like it.”

It was horrible, horrifying, in every single way possible. Phil didn’t understand how they could be so numb to the fact that they were singing something so embarrassing. And that’s when his eyes traced over the last worker, and his heart did a little flippy over thing. 

The man displayed the emotions that Phil was going through, except he was broadcasting it with his facial expressions. It seemed as if he was in pain, his lips barely moving as he sang the words, a pretty pink colour dancing across his cheeks. He cringed when the group sang, “It mixed so good, it tastes so right, I’ll get a love it tonight,” and Phil couldn’t help but stare in rapt fascination at this man whose eyes screamed ‘kill me’. He had on the standard Cold Stone uniform - a red shirt, black apron, and khakis - and his hair was a mess of brown curls on his forehead. When he grimaced, a dimple appeared in his cheek, making him appear quite adorable despite his horrified demeanor. 

For some unknown reason, Phil wanted to see him this embarrassed all the time.

It was over far too soon, lasting only about twenty seconds before they were going back to their work, the only reminder that it happened being the man’s pink cheeks. Phil didn’t know what he wanted in life, but he knew for sure that he needed to see that song again if only to see the way the guy mumbled the words like he would rather be anywhere else than here. 

Soon enough, it was his turn, and then he was being faced with the brunette worker himself. He gave Phil a smile that was very obviously fake, that dimple caving in on his cheek. 

“What can I get for you?” The man, whose nametag read ‘Daniel’, asked. 

If Phil was an anime character, he would probably have approximately three sparkles in his eyes while cherry blossoms danced around them. He was enamoured and he maybe hated himself just a little bit for enjoying Daniel’s pain too much. He moved his eyes away from Daniel’s face and instead looked at the sizes of ice cream he could get. He furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed the weird names of the sizes. Like It, Love It, Gotta Have It? What kind of American bullshit was this. “Erm, I’ll have sweet cream in a Love It cup?” Phil asked unsurely. Was that how you were supposed to order? No matter which way he said his order in his head, it sounded so weird.

“Gotcha,” Daniel said, and then he was reaching into the ice cream container with two weird looking ice cream scoops and taking out a large amount of ice cream which was probably much more than Phil’s lactose intolerant ass could handle. “Toppings?” Daniel asked after a moment, and Phil gave him an alarmed look as Daniel dropped the glob of ice cream onto a slab of stone. Daniel sighed at him, not looking very amused. Phil reckoned he hated his job quite a lot. “You get two free toppings. They’re all listed.” 

Phil took a moment to look at the toppings presented to him, licking his lips. What would be good with his ice cream? He was feeling some kind of fruit, but what else would be good with that? Without thinking about it, he said, “Strawberries and rainbow sprinkles.” 

Daniel gave him a long look, his eyebrows furrowed, but Phil didn’t know what he was staring at him like that for. Was there something on his face? Was it because Phil was staring at him like he was a God? After a moment, Daniel shook his head slightly and scooped strawberries and rainbow sprinkles into Phil’s ice cream, mixing it together. Once he was finished, he scooped it into the cup and handed it to Phil. “Pay at the register,” he ordered, and even though he had been short with Phil the whole time, Phil couldn’t help but feel like he’d been blessed by the heavens for getting Daniel’s attention for even two minutes.

Now for the hard part: paying quickly and efficiently. Phil never liked paying for things, not because of the whole ‘losing money’ thing, but because he had the worst butterfingers in the world. It didn’t seem to matter what the situation was. If Phil had his wallet, he was bound to drop a bunch of money all over the place whether he liked it or not. 

The cashier (the blonde girl that was definitely not Daniel) totalled his bill to an amount that should be illegal. Phil got out his wallet like any good samaritan would, and handed her his money. She took it, counted out the change, and tried to hand it back to him. Except, he missed a coin and watched as it clattered on the ground, his ears burning red again. 

“There Phil goes again,” Charles says loudly, earning a laugh from Kylie and Michael. 

He glared at them and bent over to pick up the coin, dropping it in the tip bucket. “Fuck off, mate,” Phil whined back, just as the cashier yelled out “tip!”

Just like before, the employees started to sing. Except this time, Phil was ready with a wide grin on his face and his eyes trained on Daniel. He didn’t care how weird he looked at that moment. He wanted to see Daniel, red faced and full of complete and utter embarrassment the entire song. 

Daniel did not disappoint. Immediately, his face turned a bright shade of red and his head shot towards Phil to stare at him with furrowed eyebrows. They made eye contact as he sang unenthusiastically, giving Phil an unimpressed look. It was wonderful. He was wonderful. Phil didn’t doubt that he would come back here once more just to see Daniel look so flustered once again.

When the song ended, Phil was left gazing at Daniel as he turned back to his work, most likely trying to ignore Phil’s weirdness. He saw Daniel’s coworker nudge him, and just caught her saying, “You need to brighten up, Dan.” While Phil agreed that the grumpy attitude didn’t really suit the workplace, he also quite liked the way Dan tried to make it seem as if he didn’t care about anything, the way he was mortified every time a coin went into the jar. Phil liked it. Phil wanted to see it more.

Phil’s friends had to pretty much drag him out of the shop once they had all finished ordering. He didn’t want to leave, but they claimed he was being a stalker and forced him out the doors, shaking their heads at him. 

“If you want his dick that much, just come back another day,” Kylie suggested, taking a spoonful of her ice cream and humming appreciatively. “Although I don’t understand why you’re so obsessed with that guy. He seems kinda like a douche.” 

“He’s so unenthusiastic,” Phil groaned, stabbing his spoon into his own ice cream. He hadn’t tried it yet so it was melting around the edges, leaking onto his fingers. “I love it.” 

“You’re so strange,” Michael mused, earning agreements from the whole group. 

Phil sighed. He knew he was strange, but he had fun like this so that was all that mattered. He finally took a bite of his ice cream, a large scoop so he could get the sprinkles and strawberries in his mouth at the same time. As soon as he bit down, he almost spit it out. “Eurgh!” He groaned, shuddering. “This is disgusting!”

His friends turned to look at him expectantly, peering into his bowl. Charles snorted. “Well, that’s what you get when you get sprinkles and strawberries together. What the hell were you thinking?” 

“He wasn’t thinking,” Kylie pointed out. “He was too busy staring at Oscar the Grouch.”

“Don’t talk about my husband like that,” Phil said flatly, glaring at his friends over his ice cream. He was disappointed that he didn’t like his dessert after all that money he spent on it. But then again… “Looks like I’ll just have to come back to get a better ice cream.” He sighed, feigning disappointment, and he friends groaned at him. 

“You did that on purpose,” Michael accused. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Now I know you’re lying about that,” Charles said, pointing his spoon at Phil. “Because you and me? We’re alike. As soon as we see a cute boy, we both lose our shit.” 

The group laughed and Phil couldn’t exactly argue with that so he didn’t even try to. He smiled and continued to eat his gross ice cream, thinking about the day when he would finally be able to come back and see Dan once more.

-

True to Phil’s word, he showed up at Cold Stone again three days later. He hadn’t been able to get the cute grumpy boy out of his head the entire time and he knew he had to see him once more. 

Trying to figure out Dan’s schedule was a gamble. He didn’t know when he worked, didn’t know the hours or the days, so he just decided to pick a time and go. If Dan wasn’t there, he could always try another day. Phil was persistent and stubborn. He wasn’t going to give up as long as Dan worked there. And that was a fact, damn it. 

God must have been helping a bro out because Dan was there that day.

He was frowning into the ice cream just like he was the other day, giving customers fake smiles and looking completely done with the place. He didn’t see Phil as he walked in, but Phil didn’t expect him to. If he was at work, he probably wouldn’t care about anyone who came in either. In fact, Dan was probably cursing at him for coming inside in the first place. But he didn’t care. He was there for one thing and one thing only.

Dan’s embarrassment. 

The wait was even worse than it was the last time, but only because Phil didn’t have anybody with him this time. His jitters from being alone made his foot tap on the linoleum and his hand run through his hair at least twelve times. What was Dan going to say when he saw him? Would he recognize him? Would he give him a genuine smile this time? 

Now, it was his turn, and Phil was probably going to throw up all over the frozen dairy. He stepped up and then Dan’s eyes were on him, all brown and beautiful and dead inside. He didn’t show any sign of recognition other than a raised brow. Just like before, he gave Phil an obviously faux smile. “What can I get for you?” he asked in that Southern drawl, and Phil melted just like ice cream that’s been sitting out in the sun.

Phil cleared his throat because otherwise he would probably sound like a child going through puberty again. He stared into those big brown eyes, trying to maintain eye contact, but broke it off as his cheeks became too painfully hot. It seemed that looking at Dan straight on was the same thing as staring at the goddamn sun for too long. “Sweet cream in a Love It cup,” Phil told him, and watched as Dan mechanically got his scoops and went to work. He had very large hands, ones with long fingers, and Phil watched with rapt fascination, wondering just what else he could do with those hands. 

Dan coughed and Phil realised he was waiting on him once more, a look of boredom and slight annoyance on his features. Shaking himself out of it, Phil murmured that he wanted strawberries and blueberries in his ice cream. This made Dan’s lips twitch up, but he didn’t smile. “No sprinkles this time?” he asked in a voice that was slightly monotone but obviously with attempted enthusiasm.

A laugh ripped its way out of Phil’s throat. He was fully aware that he was laughing far harder than he should, especially with the looks he was gaining from the other people in line, but the joke caught him off guard. He hadn’t thought Dan would have remembered him at all, but here they were. Phil thought he fell in love just a little bit. “No sprinkles,” Phil agreed, watching as those big hands mixed his ice cream together. “Last time was a bit unpleasant. Hence why I’m here again today.” 

Dan hummed but otherwise didn’t reply, scooping up the ice cream and putting it in the cup. He licked his lips and Phil watched in awe as he did so. He was too far in and Dan had literally not said anything of sustenance. Dan handed him his ice cream, forcing Phil out of his daydreams about pressing their lips together, of seeing that blush on Dan’s cheeks for an entirely different reason. “Pay at the register,” Dan said just as he did the first day. And then as an afterthought, “Thanks for coming in again.” 

The words made Phil’s heart flutter a little bit. He was royally fucked. How could just five, polite words make him want to vomit flowers everywhere? God, Phil needed to get laid. Maybe then he could get over his unconventional crush on a guy he’d not even had a proper conversation with yet. 

There was a different cashier at the register today. She had a shock of blue hair and her nametag read Dani. It had a sticker of a rainbow next to her name. Phil thought it was nice. She beamed at him as he paid (fumbling with the money as per usual) and her smile grew even wider as he dropped some change in the tip bucket. 

She yelled out ‘tip’, and Phil just managed to catch the look of horror coming over Dan’s face as he realised what had happened. And as if matters couldn’t get any more embarrassing, the song had changed today. Phil watched with great pleasure as the employees began to sing in the tune of Get Low by Lil Jon. 

“From the ghiiiiaaaa to the stone (to the stone)  
Til the fudge drips down that cone.  
Mix it on that stone.  
Thanks for the tip tip tip tip tip  
Thanks for the tip tip tip.”

It was wonderful. Just as embarrassing as before. In fact, it was probably moreso because of the way Dan’s coworker, a large man with bulging muscles, shimmied as if he had breasts. Phil snickered as Dan’s face turned an even redder shade than before, looking absolutely mortified. He glared at his coworker first before turning that burning gaze onto Phil. 

It said, ‘Don’t you dare tip us again’. 

Phil raised his eyebrows in return, a bright grin on his face. He hoped Dan knew that he would be back again.

The frozen dessert tasted much better that day, but Phil was halfway through when he realised he didn’t like blueberries. He would have to come back another day to get something better.

-

It went on like that for a few weeks. Phil would come in, order an ice cream that he knew he probably wouldn’t like, and then he would use that as an excuse to come back another time. Once he got coffee flavoured ice cream with gummy bears and peanut butter, but it was worth it to see the slightly disgusted face Dan pulled when he dumped them into Phil’s dessert. 

He made it a game to see how many facial expressions he could pull out of Dan during his visit. He would order weird mixes. He would say dumb animals facts as Dan was mixing his ice cream together. He would put a tip in the tip jar and marvel at the fact that the store had a different song each day. 

And then, of course, he would marvel at the way Dan’s glares turned more and more heated every time he put a tip in the jar. 

There was no way that Dan didn’t know what he was doing. It’s not like he was being sneaky, after all. He had to have noticed the way Phil would stare straight into his eyes as he dropped change in the bin, the way he would stare the entire time Dan was mumbling stupid songs under his breath. 

Phil wouldn’t call it antagonizing, per say. He was just interested in the blush that covered Dan’s cheeks, interested in those dead eyes, interested in those pretty pink (but chapped) lips. He was definitely interested in kissing those pretty pink (but chapped) lips, that’s for sure. 

But one day, everything Phil knew and loved changed in a heartbeat. 

“I’ll cash him out,” Dan told his coworker as he handed Phil his newest creation of strawberry ice cream with cinnamon and coconut. 

Phil’s eyes widened and his heart stopped because Dan was staring him straight in the eyes, as if he was challenging him to a dual. Their eye contact didn’t break as they both made their way to the register, and Phil watched out of the corner of his eye as Dan took his gloves off. He was wearing black nail polish and Phil wanted to cry because he had never seen somebody so damn beautiful before. 

Dan told him his total in a smooth voice and Phil grappled for the change. His wallet was steadily growing emptier thanks to the costliness of his new hobby, and he knew that he would have to pick up some more work hours sooner or later. “Aren’t you going broke?” Dan asked, and his voice wasn’t really snarky, but it definitely had an edge in it. “This place isn’t exactly cheap.” 

Phil shrugged and handed the money to Dan, only managing to practically punch Dan’s hand as he did so. “I have a job,” he replied. And then, with hesitation, “Besides, where else would I go to hear such snazzy tunes after a long day?” With this, he took a few coins and went to put it in the tip jar, keeping his eyes trained on Dan’s face.

Just as he suspected, Dan’s eyes widened in horror. Before Phil knew what was happening, his hand was being knocked out of the way and his change went flying through the air. It landed on the floor with a pitiful clatter and Phil gaped at Dan and the way he was so much more flushed than he had ever been before. 

“I- what?” Phil spluttered, and he was sure he looked just as flustered.

“Please don’t,” Dan said in a low, pleading tone. He leaned in closer to Phil so that nobody could hear them, not caring about the way that the other customers were most likely staring or waiting for them to finish cashing Phil out. “I don’t want to sing anymore.” 

Phil’s heart stuttered in his chest. He was definitely in an anime, there was no doubt about that anymore. Internally, he was flipping out about how close Dan was to him, how he could see each individual freckle on his face, how there were specks of black and gold in Dan’s eyes. He wanted to grab Dan’s face and trace along his cheekbones with his thumb, wanted to connect their lips together and see if Dan tasted like the ice cream he served.

He didn’t do any of those things.

Instead, he swallowed and took a deep breath to clear his head. He couldn’t be creepy when he finally had his chance to shine. (Even though he probably already looked creepy, let’s be honest). “But I like seeing you sing,” Phil murmured, just as quietly.

There was surprise in those brown eyes and Dan jerked backwards in shock, his eyebrows raised. “What?”

“You get this cute blush on your cheeks and you look like you’d rather be anywhere else but here. It’s intriguing. I’d come by every day but I don’t want to seem desperate.” 

Dan scoffed but it was obvious he was trying to play it cool by the way he crossed his arms over his chest. There was a pink tint to his cheeks again and Phil wanted to kiss them so badly. “You’re looking pretty desperate to me, Phil.”

For a moment, Phil was alarmed. How did Dan know his name? Had they met before? Had Phil introduced himself without remembering? But then he recalled that his friends had shouted his name very loudly before, and Dan had probably connected the dots. His heart did a little flip that Dan had remembered his name. “Well then allow me to be even more desperate,” Phil said despite the nervousness choking off his airways. He gave Dan a bright smile, hiding his shaking hands with the ice cream in his grip. Dan tilted his head curiously, but he had a guarded look in his eyes. Phil wanted to get to know the person beneath that expression. “Come on a date with me?” 

Silence greeted him and Phil began to panic. 

He set the ice cream on his counter so he could run his hand through his fringe and mess with his jumper, occupying his hands. It was a nervous habit he had picked up a while ago, one that seemed to be emerging right then. He had never been good at asking people out. “Of course, don’t think I’m forcing you into it. If you’re not interested, that’s totally fine. I’ll leave you alone and escape the country if you want me to. I just think you’re really pretty and I’ve wanted to get to know you ever since I first saw you singing that godawful Hollaback Girl remix-.”

“Phil,” Dan murmured. His voice was quiet and he was staring down at Phil through his eyelashes. He didn’t have an expression on his face. “You’re holding up the line.” 

Phil’s stomach sank and he looked to his right to see that he was, indeed, holding up the line. People were watching him with annoyance written all across their faces. They were holding their wallets and ice cream and seemingly about ready to tear his head off. “Ah. I’m sorry. I’ll just. Yeah.” He did a little side-step, pointing towards the exit. But before he could make his getaway, there was a hand around his wrist, holding him in place. 

“Come back tomorrow so we can discuss where we want to go on a date, yeah? My shift starts at three.”

And then, like a light had switched on, Dan was smiling. A real, actual smile, one that lit up the entire room. His whole face seemed to shine as bright as the sun, his eyes turning this gorgeous molten chocolate colour, his teeth straight and white. His dimple caved in on his cheek and his nose crinkled and Phil could feel himself drowning. He had never seen Dan smile like this before, so genuine and bright, and Phil felt as though he had seen an actual fucking angel grinning at him. 

If he thought Dan was beautiful before when he was grumpy, then he was about a thousand times more beautiful when he smiled. Especially when Phil was the cause of that smile. 

“G-great!” Phil stuttered, wiping his mouth off with his sleeve just in case he was drooling. He offered Dan his own grin and nodded, getting hair in his eyes like the bumbling fool he was. “I’ll see you tomorrow then!” 

He turned to walk out of the store, melting ice cream in hand. But then he stopped, turned around, looked Dan right in the eyes. 

He ignored the way Dan’s soft eyes slowly turned horrified as Phil dropped a coin into the tip jar, an enthusiastic ‘tip!’ ringing through the air.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you all think! You can find me on tumblr at botanistlester!


End file.
